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Ed Balls MP
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*Doodles pigs on a notepad*

*Downs seventh pint*

"Ed Balls v Hillary Benn: The shadow chancellor Ed Balls's Morley and Outwood constituency in West Yorkshire has been chopped around more than most and he now has the smallest majority of all the shadow cabinet members. The inclusion of part of Leeds Central is likely to improve his majority, but at the expense of his Labour colleague Hilary Benn, whose seat is abolished. Benn, the fourth generation in his family to sit in parliament, is currently the shadow leader of the house."




I'm not less loved than the son of Tony Benn by the Labour party...


My arm is fucking caning and I didn't do anything that anyone can prove

Bastard.  Why the fuck is he a Lord anyway since his party has such a big fucking problem with it?

Now the Bank of England joins in showing how shit the ConDem economic policy is.

Inflation rising to 5%? Twice what Gids predicted? Lower growth?

Not fucking surprised, mate.

Aye, to the Highlands to spread the word of, er, economic competence and the worker's right to work and go to Gordon's if there's time for tea!

...Fuck's sake, how can we be so far behind in the polls? Fucking single-vision SNP.

Look, I don't think I'd ever have to deny I'm "the new Blair" for shit's sake. What I meant by that quote is that Miliband is rightly in power and I'm going to support him and give him what he needs.

Like Blair should have done for Gordon. There. Now fuck off, paps, I have kilts to avoid wearing.


The most annoying person in modern politics?

Must be doing something right.

Even the Daily Mail thinks I'm a "surging, dramatic personality".

But I'm not fat.

I'll never say where I got that pre-Budget report from, but I certainly haven't recently been mucking around with the devil.

So much for getting that day off.

Fuck's sake. I've already said I'll pay most of it back. Just a wanker with a grudge wanting a day in court. At least there's no chance of jail time. Until after the murder.

I fucking hate your constituents, 'Vette.

Hold on to your hats, boys and girls.

I know it'll be a shock having to hear some economic competence for a fucking change, but I'm sure the public'll be able to cope.

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